Friday, October 10, 2008

secret heart

I usually live in fear of the reaction I will get when people find out one or both of my two dark secrets.

First, I don't like sushi. And I know okay, I KNOW! How can I not like sushi? Well it has to do with not liking slimy food in my mouth mostly. But I know everyone with any kind of great taste likes sushi and that it's so cool and sophisticated and I look like a slob because I'm not into it. And it breaks my heart that I will never go on some fantastic first date to a hip little basement sushi bar where we will sit on stools so close to each other and eat California rolls and talk about Billy Wilder films and fall in love. For me it's more likely to involve a Hot n'Ready. Classy!

Secondly, I don't winter sport. Yes, I have lived in Utah my whole life so why I don't ski or snowboard is as beyond me as it is you. I never took lessons like the whole world does when they're little. I skied once in jr. high and it was the worst experience of my life (cus I almost killed a class full of kids in front of the whole resort). I bought a snowboard years ago to kick me into doing that (it didn't). I've liked it the few times I've been but I've never been able to dedicate the kind of time I should to get proficient. It's kind of like my camping complex; I want to do that junk, I occasionally plan to do that junk, it just seems like the follow through is weak...thus I am weak, I know.

So you understand why this morning when I walked outside my apartment and saw my breath it made my stomach sink for months of cold car starts and no more cute flats or running outside, instead of the "CAN'T WAIT TO GET ON THE MOUNTAIN!!" reaction for most of the cool people in this state.

But yesterday looked like this:

So at least if you judge me you'll feel guilty cus I'm sending you a CD (I love the power of guilt!).

20 comments:

Anne said...

I find it very comforting to know that you are not a winter sports participant. I honestly thought I was the only person who grew up in Utah and didn't live on the slopes every winter.

I've never tried skiing but became possessed by evil spirits the few times I tried snowboarding. I don't like that feeling! Here's to a very short, mild winter for both our sake!

Kylie said...

YES! I knew we were kindred spirits! I have also been embarrassed because I don't like sushi and because I've also lived in Utah my whole life and still hate the snow AND snow sports. It's so nice to know I'm not alone!

Naomi said...

Yes, it was dang cold this AM (and still is chilly), but I loooove our new furnace.

Feel that powerful heat!

Tasha said...

Tell us your thoughts about opera.

Bob Conlon said...

I am so glad Origin doesn't go do sushi for lunch anymore, b/c I loathe that stuff as well.

Susie said...

Okay...so this is susie robinson...from CHS...a grade ahead and you were in love with a boy named scott and we talked about him all the time? Anyway- I have been stalking you ever since you appeared on trish's blog and I just had to comment on this post. Because I hate sushi and suck at snow sports too! katy blommer gave me a few ski lessons and I sucked big time and hate being cold or wet and cold.....anywho you make me laugh so hard sometimes- I am throwing katy a baby shower I really hope you can come so I get to see you. This message is soo long I am making myself seem like a creepy stalker....sorry!

Senja said...

No worries.
I am not big into winter sports as well. However, I am very competitive when it comes to throwing snow balls.

Abby Rose said...

I dont like sushi either. I guess that makes us nerds.... Come to think of it, I dont do winter sports either!!!
Emily, now I know why you and I are friends.

Des said...

Dear Emily,

I don't like sushi. I don't like skiing or snowboarding. We can be friends.

Love,
Des

CoCo said...

I love sushi and I love the winter sport of sledding. I also love that we can be friends despite our preferences.

ALL so ... I would think that you'd welcome the cold weather as a time to wear so many scarves. no?

i i eee said...

I had no idea there were so many Utahns that weren't obsessed with winter sports! We should start a Facebook group.

I even bought all the snowboard gear once as well, in hopes that it would make me learn. I never went. I did go skiing a few times. Meh. All I did was pee in my snow pants. Twice. Kinda expensive to go piss your pants up on a mountain.

Last time I went sledding I broke my back. I considered that something of a retirement.

I do love sushi. Though. Oh my yum.

Judy Neil said...

oh wow. This is like therapy because every year I cringe that I don't know how to ski or snowboard and every year I think, "why don't I just take a lesson?" and I feel like guys think I'm lame because I don't hit the slopes and I think some guy will instantly fall in love the minute that I am a snow bunny. lame. I had a similar tragedy during a youth activity when I was 14 - so devastating that I kind of twitch when I think about going to a ski resort.

I do like sushi - don't love it. I am selective and I think it matters where you go and what you get especially if you are just getting started.

now make me a CD already,okay? - end of novel. the end.

Greg and Jayne said...

It could be genetic, I don't think you got my bad knees, but even without them, I can't see the charm in cold and wind and a high probability of injury. A book by the roaring fire of a ski resort sounds good!

lady ace said...

You still make cd's? You're so 90s!

AP said...

Snowboarding has it's moments, and I've never tried skiing. The best is when Luke took me to a blue square when I was clearly a green circle girl, and I cried as I crawled on my knees with my board still attached to my boots down the entire mountain. Not one of my finer moments. A lot of nice people passed and said I wasn't really in the way, but I knew I was. And I hate sushi, too. I always go with a group and end up ordering the $6 vegetable tempura appetizer, but then get stuck dividing the bill into equal portions. $80 for veggie tempura? Kind of reminds me of an episode of friends that I loved--you know the one with the cucumber soup and Hootie and the Blowfish?

Amanda said...

oh my heck emily!! The memory of you flailing down the bunny hill completely out of control and flying through the legs of a plywood elf into a class full of toddlers on skis will forever be imprinted on my mind!! Did you remember that I was with you? I am giggling out of control right now! I don't do snow sports anymore either...if that makes you feel any better. Gosh I wish I lived closer to you so we could get together. You crack me up and I need to laugh more.

Ems said...

ha! amanda I was TOTALLY going to add into the post "Amanda, you remember of course" because yeah...so terrible. like terrible enough that if I saw that on a movie I would roll my eyes because I would think it's so ridiculous and impossible. who were we with? I was trying to remember the boys, but I'm drawing a blank.

I'm so glad to know there are others like me in Utah (Judy I totally worry it's a strike against me with boys too!).

cropstar said...

is it too late for a cd? ok... i'm emailing you my addy just in case you still have an extra lying around just begging for a new home :)

Alaska Wanderer said...

Hey Emily. I am out in one of our small villages on the coast. The kids here are already ice skating on the ponds! Bethel (my home town) already has a light layer of snow.... sigh. Winter comes so quickly. I think I prefer summer too.

aporitic said...

I don't winter sport either. The idea that I should trade half a week's wages for the privilege of falling down the side of a mountain strikes me as asinine. I know it's not nice of me to do so, but I tend to suspect that the people who engage in this nonsense are really just big, fat, suckers.

As for sushi -- yeah, you must be some kind of freak.