lazy days

I could definitely do without the SNOW that came this afternoon, but I'll take a rainy day anytime. The spring rain in Utah I particularly love because it feels kind of lazy to me; the mountains look sleepy and the air makes you want to open windows and read a book. I love waking up to the sound of rain outside my window and I love jackets and I love rainy weather songs (clearly my heart belongs in the Pacific Northwest). This morning found me searching through my iTunes for one of my favorite rainy weather girls, Leona Naess. I seem to mostly listen to her on days like today, but her sexy mellow sound reminds me of the boy who first introduced us.

My friend Jef had an internship at the Opening Ceremonies in the months leading up the the 2002 Winter Olympics. At the time, I was 19 years old and minding my business. Jeff told me a couple of times there was a kid he worked with who he thought I would get along with nicely. A random night I got a message from a stranger named Noah. I called him back and we talked a bit about some movies we both liked and some music we both liked and decided to meet up right then at a coffee shop. And then I died because I couldn't believe it. You see, in days of old I didn't have a lot of luck with the boys (NOW I HAVE SO MUCH THOUGH!!!!). Until then I had probably gone on all of 4 or 5 dates in my young life and while I definitely always had a crush on someone, my love affairs were mostly unrequited love affairs.

So Emily meets Noah and he was like, a dream come true. He was 21 or 22 or something and from Seattle and had graduated from USC (I think) with a film degree and he was wearing a puffy vest. So adorable to my 19 year old self! We got drinks and talked, drove around Salt Lake and talked, and slid down the hill at Sugarhouse Park and still talked. He was great; he was funny and cute and friendly and smart and when I finally was on my way home, thinking about the evening felt nice. It felt nice that someone thought I was interesting and appealing. Because while I had plenty of great and wonderful boys in my life who I felt like really loved and appreciated me, only one or two had ever acted like they might like to French with me.

I heard a lot from people my age and older that I would totally date in college cus that is when boys would get me. And up to that point I heard the word respect a lot, like my mom liked to tell me boys respected me and since I was intense and serious with my emotions teenage boys weren't really awesome at knowing how to react (for the record, they only get slightly better about that with age). I heard that crap a lot but at 19 you maybe want someone at some point to NOT respect you. And besides, I knew plenty of very respectable girls who got asked out. So I didn't get it. But my evening with Noah made me finally maybe understand what everyone had been talking about. Cus he was different from pretty much every other boy I knew which maybe meant I was different which maybe meant my kind of boys were just going to be fewer and farer in between. And that felt okay with me because it was such a real connection and I was myself. And while I've never wanted to be anyone but me, from about then on is when I stopped being as concerned with what I wasn't or what I needed to be and got a lot more comfortable with who I was. What a relief.

Noah and I only hung out a few more times if I remember correctly. We had met just a few weeks before the Olympics began and between our busy schedules and him getting like really super sick for a while, there wasn't much other time. We e-mailed a bit after he left Utah and he introduced me to some great, great bands that still remind me of him and the things I learned from that time. Because with a rotating list in my head of Way I Am Failing In Life/Things To Fix, it's nice to think I've grown more into myself in a good way in the years since. And maybe also, I've even picked up a thing or two about how to flirt...