teenage lobotomy

You'll have to click on the image to enlarge it, but I suppose if I'm still shopping at teeny bopper stores I really deserve at checkout to be asked what year I will graduate high school, right?

the warmig sun

Does a coatless arm out the car window in the early evening bring the excitement of spring to anyone else?

(also, I'm test driving my wedding ring)

good vibrations

If on his own Morgan makes this aunt happy,

and if on his own Garrett makes this aunt happy,

then imagine how happy they make me when they're together!

Sterling and Garrett were visiting this weekend and man, two tiny cousins are completely fun.

Before nephews were around I had hoped for nieces because you know, little girls are adorable and little girl clothes are like so, so cute. But since Cliffords are only reproducing boys so far, I have fallen head over heels in love with them. I love their energy and their airplane pajamas and their little boy sneakers.

And I get the best of both worlds, cus I get two awesome little nieces through Aaron here in a couple of months. But it has been a delight the past 2 and 1 years watching these boys grow and knowing they'll be the bigger cousins to my eventual children...well Garrett will be the bigger cousin, Morgan will need to grow first before he'll be considered anything but tiny!

on a good day

I've been so boring! I mean, of course I have taken some picture of Morgan lately.

Like at lunch with his hands full of drink,


and at Kristina's wedding reception with his mouth full of Swedish Fish.


I also got some when he was running around naked the other night, but maybe aunts don't get to post naked baby photos? That's a little weird right?

And there have been some wedding plans coming along, mostly decisions made while sitting on the couch watching House Hunters on HGTV,

or in the mail,

or while getting sushi,

or when your hair stylist gets really excited at your most recent hair cut and schedules you for all your necessary preparatory appointments.


Also, I got an unlimited tanning pass yesterday at European Tan (wouldn't like, South American Tan be a more appealing tanning salon name?), which I think means I am officially a bride.

lets call the whole thing off

We have, what I thought was a harmless, Nike+ challenge going on at work through the end of March. I knew that I'd gotten lazy in the months since the Vegas Ragnar Relay we ran in the fall, so I figured it would be a fun way to get back on track for the upcoming spring and summer season. The challenge was friendly but my participating co-workers are all possessed by running devils so the fact that I ran 23 miles last week still means I'm in last place. Last place! And I'm not even training for anything particular (besides the race to look good in a wedding dress)! I'm going to run like crazy the remaining few weeks of the challenge cus hot damn I'm not going to end in last place, but then I will make a mental note to never agree to join them in a 'friendly' running challenge again.

To finish with enough miles, this week I have created a new running playlist entitled Run to Wed (for at least some longer term motivation) with some new songs as well as old goodies; I feel like half my life now consists of my iPod in my ears.

Here are some favorites in case you got yourself accidentally mixed up with the wrong crowd too...

memory lane

Last week I was in my room doing some much needed straightening. Aaron came over and had fallen asleep on my bed within 2 seconds of sitting on it, tired from a busy week. I turned to my iPod for company and scrolled to Tiny Cities, a whole album of Modest Mouse covers done by Sun Kil Moon and a favorite of mine. It always sounds like autumn to me and the quiet just before sleep so I was feeling very reminiscent as I listened and gathered my scattered clothes. Trucker's Atlas came up a few songs in and for the first time as an engaged lady, I was taken back to a particular fall some years ago when that song was wound around a particular boy.

I remembered he liked cameras like I did and making future plans like I did. I remembered over a Labor Day weekend when he rode LOTOJA with Christopher while I drove with Elizabeth and Tasha as support; we carried supplies and encouragement and followed them both as far as their bodies would take them. I remembered Jackson Hole and my first encounter with that breathtaking Teton range and skipping rocks across Jenny Lake with him and Elizabeth. I remembered just the two of us on a drive home through Bear Lake and Logan where the trees were brilliant shades of warm colors and the air was crisp but nice enough still when we stopped at antique stores and for raspberry shakes. And I remembered both of us having dying commitments to other people at that time, but for those few days feeling a mutual optimism and interest for the coming months.

And the coming months proved to quickly show us the end of something that still wasn't quite right for either of us (and I believe that same kind of story was repeated both before and after me with other girls), but I still consider that Jackson Hole weekend nearly perfect because everything was right.

As the song ended and another began, I curled up next to Aaron and stuck my nose in his neck. Listening to his steady, sleeping breath I thought how lovely it was to be there with him, but remembering kindly someone else.

I don't think getting married has much to do with deserving or earning or even necessarily being ready. I think it happens when it happens and that is both the excitement and frustration of dating because there is no formula to get it to end in marriage...it simply won't work until the time it does work. So while I don't think I needed my 28 years and previous dating experiences to get to here, I sure am glad I've had all of it. I racked up some pretty great moments and thrilling emotions before Aaron and last night I realized it feels wonderful to look back at them so fondly but feel perfectly right about where I am now...and to look forward to a future of new kinds of great moments and thrilling emotions.